Attack on Santa

Santa, the patron saint of Christmas is at the top of anti-fat fanatic Meme Roth's "naughty" list, reports Fox News. She wants America to "second guess its time-honored traditions," and ask Santa to go on a diet. According to The Center for Consumer Freedom, Roth's ideas, though slightly unhinged, are not unique. She's simply echoing the arguments of a recent British campaign advocating a strict diet and fitness regimen for jolly old St. Nick. London's Daily News outlined the specific concerns of this grinch-like brigade: Even though Santa burns 600 calories an hour delivering presents, the problem lies in the mince pies left for him on the mantle by eager children in the UK. If he consumed every single one, he would gain some 721,000 lbs. And think about the pounds he would gain downing cookies and milk American children leave as a treat. Pardon me, but Santa has a tough job crawling up and down chimneys and needs periodic sustenance. And he certainly needs a bit of flab to fight the cold winds of winter. I'd suggest Santa bypass Roth's house and bring happiness and mirth to those that appreciate his generosity and his girth. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all.