Of Food Safety, Pranks and Keeping it Real

July 15, 2022

Sometimes the news comes so thick and fast that all you can do is sit back and marvel. And make snarky comments, of course.

Sometimes the news comes so thick and fast that all you can do is sit back and marvel. And make snarky comments, of course.

Bill Would Take Food Safety Away from FDA

Legislation introduced by Democrats would create a Food Safety Administration, under the Department of Health and Human Services, that would take over most food safety functions from the FDA.

To which I say: Yes, yes, YES! Pass this YESTERDAY!

The immediate impetus for this bill was the FDA’s cumbersome response to the situation in the Abbott Laboratories baby formula plant that led to a nationwide shortage of formula. But it would be a mistake to see this as a knee-jerk reaction. Not only has the FDA’s food-safety enforcement function been dysfunctional for years; there’s a fundamental problem with putting the FDA in charge of things like safety, nutritional guidance, and other consumer issues. The problem is that the FDA serves two masters: consumers and business. When their interests diverge, consumers deserve a government agency that is unambiguously committed to their welfare.

Step Up Your Prank Game, UK Food Workers

A customer of Quorn, a vegan food processor based in the United Kingdom, was recently distressed to find a chicken nugget – from an actual chicken – in his bag of frozen vegan sausages.

The 42-year-old British customer immediately reported this to Quorn, who determined that it had been packaged in one of the few facilities they use that also handles meat products. He told the Daily Mail that he suspected it was a prank by one of the workers, but that after investigating, Quorn couldn’t find anything.

If this was a prank, I’m sorry but it’s kind of lame. I understand, you have to make do with what’s at hand. But it would have been so much better if it had been a real sausage.

Real Bacon + Fake Beef = ???

Speaking of real vs. analogue meats, here comes Burger King with an announcement of a new sandwich: The Impossible Southwest Bacon Whopper.

Yes, that’s bacon on top of the Impossible Burger, BK’s plant-analogue patty supplied by Impossible Foods. Plant-based vegan bacon substitutes are well established, but there’s no indication that the bacon atop the ISBW is anything but real.

Well, I’m sure it tastes fine, but...what’s the point?

As I’ve written before, the only motivation to eat an Impossible Burger, or any of the major plant-based meat substitutes, is to avoid consuming meat. They’re still by and large more expensive than actual meat, and they don’t have much of a nutritional advantage.

But if we’re going down that road, let’s mix it up a little. Maybe next we can have a burger with real ground beef and fake bacon.

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