Frank Shirley, CEO of NutraTox, went on record today to say he would be eschewing Christmas bonuses for executives in favor of Jelly of the Month club memberships.
A NutraTox employee who goes by the name of Clark Griswold voiced concern when discovering his Christmas bonus would not be a financial sum that he had been hoping for. NutraTox, which showed record profits, manufactures non-nutritive cereal varnish in Chicago.
Shirley, who lives in a mansion on Chicago's north side, was unavailable for comment.
In the spirit of the holidays, this is obviously a fake news story. But Happy Holidays from Food Processing.